As Sandy's husband for over 31 years, I felt comfortable asking to guest blog for Mother's Day, especially since I have studied my topic so well. The request was a surprise to her. The aim is to honor her. My topic ==> Sandy. :)
Sandy and I have important differences. Lost-in-the-moment and nurturing ISFP Sandy continuously brings artistic creativity and new flavors into the let’s-be-logical INTP Carlos world of ponderings. We must be careful, though. Logjams occur when the non-confrontational-amiable Enneagram 9 Sandy permits the throw-caution-to-the-wind-experience-life Enneagram 7 Carlos to take over completely. Despite our different lenses, somehow through God's grace, our children are now functioning independent from us. To that point ==> our children...
We are empty-nesters. Today, Mother's Day 2021, marks our 267th day and Sandy's first Mother's Day with an empty nest. As a researcher, I enjoy numbers. Perhaps some of you do too? (I actually doubt it. Am I really "perhapsing" that some of you like numbers? You follow a Christian Historical Romance Fiction blog. Well, just in case...) Today marks day #10,203 since our oldest child was born. So, I estimate that Sandy has been a mom for 10,203 days plus ~38 weeks (since Baby #1 arrived ~2 weeks early). When our fourth and final baby left home on August 16, 2020, it marked our 9,938th (and final) day of having children under our roof. Those first few days (and weeks and months, quite frankly) as empty-nesters were tough. What a run! Congrats Sandy!
It has been a great blessing to witness Sandy's motherhood years. So, after having achieved level "Expert" at mothering (10,000 makes an expert, right?), Sandy is using her talents more toward writing. Many of you have caught a glimpse of Sandy through her blog posts, poetry, short stories, and even excerpts of her books (as she still seeks a suitable publisher and/or literary agent.) Sitting in our living room listening to the thunderstorm, wind, and rain, I ponder the many ways in which Sandy is a priceless gift from God. She is not only a gift for me and our children, family, and friends, but also for her readers. Of the many attributes and traits revealed during that Mommy-era, below are a few Sandy-things that have served her well in her mothering. I love these things about her. They also seem to be translating well into her writing endeavors.
First, Sandy listens, asks questions, and gathers information. In general, Sandy is quiet. Can you believe that? A quiet mom, listening to her children while nurturing them? Yes, Sandy the writer, blogger, poet, etc. gives us waaaaay waaaaay waaaaay waaaaaaay more written words in a day than Sandy the physical person speaks during the week. When she does talk, it is usually to ask a question to encourage others to convey more. She enjoys listening. If you would like to hear Sandy speak about herself, then you must look at her and ask her a specific question. If others are in the room, then you should be prepared to ask her to continue her thought when she is interrupted. If not, she will contentedly listen to the conversation wherever it flows. There are many Mommy attributes that have benefited our children, but the admirable writer quality of "listening inquisitive researcher" is my current point. Sandy patiently listens and gathers information.
Second, although Sandy is quiet, she ranks high in presentness. Sandy is where she is. She employs all senses. Sandy absorbs. Sandy savors. She absorbs and savors the location, the topic, the room, the field, the omelet, the beach, the stadium, the wooded path, the goat, the grocery aisle, the library, the stoplight, the website, the zoo exhibit, the book, the porch, the waterfall, the horse, the closet, the movie, the speaker, the infant, the baby, the child, the tween, the teen, the man, the woman, the young, and the old. The quality of "being here" has enabled her to sense and feel the presence and words and emotions and needs of our children, one moment at a time, time after time. This has brought great benefit to our children. How fantastic for my kids to have a mother who is fully immersed in the sounds, the sights, the tastes, and smells of the here and now. So many are not mentally and emotionally in the same room with their physical bodies. More than anyone I've ever known, Sandy truly is where she is, providing a natural goldmine of writer material.
Third, Sandy lives who she is. She professes boldly that she is a daughter of God, redeemed from sin by the sacrifice of The Lord Jesus, and led by the Holy Spirit. Equipped, she sings at all times, works though tired, offers encouragement when needed, pushes herself despite pain, and has faith always. Our children were (and still are) submersed in the truth of the Scriptures. I am delighted to see that her worldview fills her poems, books, and blog.
Sandy's decades of mothering have raised some wonderful kids. It is enjoyable to see her adapt and use her gifts and skills and strengths for writing.
Happy Mother's Day Sweetie!
Love,
Carlos
